Invisibility

[keepersdaughter]

What I wonder makes a good post?. Scrolling through different sites it's appararent how many 'cliques' seem to form. One person only seems to post 'eh up, nice out' and there follows streams of replies. People seem to like to say they feel a closer connection or whatever to certain posters, no matter what other posters say, the site then seems to get very closed and one sided, like an exclusive club where certain posters can be assured of an immediate response, while others are either ignored or talked around. What makes interesting reading to you???

[sheddie]

Who can say what each of us will find interesting, sometimes it can be something very insignificant and click with someone and it becomes an interesting thread, so I think put what posts on you think are interesting and we'll be sure to join in.

[Crocus]

Whatever's in you heart Keepersdaughter!

[Oola]

I always find myself drawn to hen-related posts! I don't know really, if something is an interesting topic, something that I haven't considered or is generally in my sphere of hobbies/interests I'm more likely to post. It doesn't usually matter who posts the subject, but I have to admit sometimes in the past if there are many people supporting one point of view and I have another, sometimes I dilly and dally a bit with whether I want to respond or not. It's very difficult when you are trying to make your point and you have to contend with many more people responding to you. challenging your views. Much easier when you're answering one or two people.

I used to go on a live internet relay chat forum that was all about politics. Most of the users were from the US, and the majority of the US posters were hardline Conservative/Republicans. I remember specifically an incident where I mentioned that I'd been to Cuba, and that I thought their healthcare and education systems were really good. Immediately I was insulted - badly - and called all manner of things, including a communist (even though Cubans are socialist!). Because I appreciated a left-winged system, I was a target. From then on people decided that they knew everything about my opinions and thoughts on a matter, before I even had a chance to properly view them. It was very cliquey and actually very nasty, so I decided not to post on there purely because there was no point in trying to argue a point with people that will not try and see an alternative point of view and are not open to new ideas and opinions.

[Katelb]

Gosh Oola,you're one brave lady,I have to confess that I would never have the courage to take part in anything like that for the very reasons that you describe,it sounds like a kind of international bullying ring rather than a measured discussion forum live or otherwise.
Perhaps I am a coward,but often, I prefer to sit back and read what everyone else thinks whilst keeping an open mind as far as my opinions are concerned,I do however ,have every admiration for someone who can put forward a point of view which in the long run might cause arguments and disharmony,I simply don't have the courage to do that.I guess I am one of the' invisible' ones keepersdaughter! but I'm happy with it that way so long as it doesn't bother anyone else.

[sheddie]

I don't agree Katelb you always take part in whatever and do have the courage to put on a topic yourself - you are a person of worth you know! X

[dinger]

I try to read all the threads and join in if I can .Like to take interest in what everyone has to say .

[keepersdaughter]

Oh Katelb, you are neither invisible or ignored. You always add interesting and thoughtful comments. I wasn't talking about people not taking part in every thread. Not everything will be of interest or appeal to everyone. Oola, what a shame your insights and views were not taken in the spirit intended. Sounds like they had made up their minds a certain way and because you challenged or tried to open up a different perspective they closed their minds or ranks against you. Your posts are always interesting, well measured and insightful. Their loss RM's gain.

[Crocus]

Morning my dear friends!, for me, being from another country, its not always possible to post a comment on a political issue (don't know enough of it anyway) or an issue regarding the UK comes up. I feel it's not really for me to say something about my beloved UK's internal affairs. I just read the comments with great interest, listen and learn. xxx

[eleanor2]

hi keepers i think we all listen with interest what every-one writes.i know i do.cus i love listening to what people think about things.some of us on other threads have the same sense of humour so we go off at a tangent,that is entertaining to us.as for me i chatter on all the time.sometimes i get answered sometimes i dont.i just like putting my point of view forward.i do like a good dabate if one comes up.as for my book reviews.people dont answer but a few over the months have told me they like reading them.like me and hott on c.l. we have this thing that doing a book review helps us get more out of a book.so hotts got the next book lined up.i find what you write very interesting.i think you have a tough life out in u.s.a. i think me and you are about level in our lifes cycle of things.i just write and waffle on sometimes.wonder if i get on peoples nerves at times.but laugh because life is short so go for it i say.wow chatterbox or what.

[sheddie]

Eeeee you don't get on anyones nerves in fact when you are not around for a bit you are missed. X

[eleanor2]

arrr thanks sheddy i think some of us just like to chat about anything.talking to hubby at home is a bit mono syllablle so i am so glad i have got all of you. there is only so much i want to know about car engines.

[Katelb]

Thank you sheddie for your very kind words,and keepers,I know you were generalising and you are right in a lot of what you said,but I guess if we feel motivated to get involved in a discussion or introduce a topic,then it will be about something about which we have some reasonably sound knowledge and opinions.The old saying "One man's meat is another man's poison" comes to mind and I suppose it can be applied to what interests you and what doesn't...if that makes any sense!

[jazzactivist]

Hi keepersdaughter, I am attracted to the posts that encourage a range of people to have a say on a topic, and also try to create some that will encourage this myself. I like to experience the forums just like a regular discussion or debate, so the more different views the merrier. I don't think that you should feel invisible, even if you are a bit wary of getting into debate, just plunge in and add your bit. I have found that the people who use this site are very open and friendly and not cliquey, although some know one another better than others depending on whether they know one another off-site or have lots of posts. Even if you don't agree with the others on a particular thread what you say is treated with respect and people make a real effort to be open to new ideas.

[Crocus]

Hi Eleanor, you no chatterbox, and you don't work on my nerves! I always read what you say with interest!

[Redstart]

I tend to avoid posts limited to things British (tv programmes, companies, places), simply because I don't know what you're all talking about! otherwise I read them all and add a comment if I feel it's relevant. I think RM and all it's posters (so far) are superb!

[eleanor2]

thanks crocus.its great that we are all different isn't it.jazz and redstart we are all such different people arn't we yet we do all have some good chats and debates.keepers when you chatted on my mid life chrisis thread i hope you realised you helped me a lot.it was like there was some-one going through what i was and could understand me.keep chatting keepers thats how we get to know each other.

[sheddie]

No thanks needed katelb, I love to hear from you, sometimes I think our experiences are very similar X

[Ivy]

Like Crocus and redstart pointed out it is not allways easy to follow a discussion if you live abroad. It is not that certain people are ignored by me they simply come up with topics that I have nothing to say to. How do I know anything about British politcs I live in Germany, milkprices in UK ? menopause (I am only 40) and sometimes I simply can't make out what people are referring to as English is not my mothertounge and some expressions are simply incomprehensive to me.

[sheddie]

Then start a discussion Ivy and we'll try to follow you, that would be interesting.

[JerseyLily]

I think INVISIBILITY did the trick! :)

[Oola]

Hi Ivy, if you don't understand an expression you can just ask what it means :) To be honest, sometimes I still come across either old expressions or regional words and expressions that I've never heard before!

[sheddie]

It's a learning experience for us all.

[Crocus]

Hi Ivy, as Sheddie once said, listen and learn. English is not my mother tongue either and I live way out in South Africa, but my love for England and the English language drives me to participate as far as possible. I've listened and learned quite a lot here for which I am very greatful. Just hang in here with everybody!;)

[sheddie]

You really did listen then crocus! X

[Crocus]

Hmmmmmm ........... excellent teachers :cool:.............have to listen, who knows what will happen if I don't ......... might get a hiding or something........anything's possible!! :eek: