Work ethic

[jazzactivist]

Hi all! We received some terrible news today that a friend of OH's has just been diagnosed with a massive brain tumour - 18 months after she first reported the symptoms! This poor woman has been in a psychiatric hospital for a year due to 'depression', and now hardly recognises anyone, even her own children. She was always someone who worked incredibly hard at her job, putting it before anything else. She was also always very determined and a real worrier in her personal life, never sitting still or stopping thinking about how she could make her family's life even better. It seems that she was misdiagnosed as she wouldn't believe that she was ill, and the progressive forgetfulness just made her worry and work harder and she became depressed about what she saw as her failing abilities. I think that this type of situation is indicative of how having a so called "good work ethic" can be damaging, and people should take care not to work too hard especially in these times when fear of business collapse can give employers carte blanche to overwork their employees, and make self employed people drive themselves too hard. What do you think?

[franbee]

That's very sad about your friend. One thing I have learnt over the years is that if you work for a large company there is no longer any point in being loyal, because when your time with them is up, they'll just say goodbye, you'll get no thanks for putting yourself out for years. That sounds rather bitter, it's never happened to me, but I've seen it happen to others, so am being realistic. The days of the generous thoughtful employer are gone.

[Crocus]

Hi Jazz, I'm so terribly sorry for you to hear this terrible news! Goodness. You mention that her forgetfullness made her work harder, probably to try and 'make up'. Is she self employed, because I wonder had she been employed, wouldn't her employers have noticed something was wrong ? xx

[keepersdaughter]

What very sad news Jazz. Hopefully, this has been found in time for it to be treated. A dear friend succumbed to a brain tumour a couple of years ago.
Despite repeated trips to the doctor for unexplained collapsing spells and insistance by family members that there was something very wrong, the doctor ignored it and when it was finally diagnosed it was too late.

My late FIL died aged 57, doing a job he loved, but he would never take time off, rarely taking annual leave, etc. This, was apparently because he felt if he let loose the reins as it were, someone would take advantage of his absence and somehow push him out or work against him. I don't know if this really was the case or just his perception. But he died at an airport during a business trip. He never switched off from work.

[dragonfly]

Very sad news jazz, I hope she can be treated. My OH used to be a work-a-holic as I think he thought it was his job to provide for the family and felt he was letting us down if he didn't. I have never had a job that was more important than my family. A doctor once said that often when people are dying they say they wish they had spent more time with their family but not one ever said 'I wish I had spent more time at work'.

Franbee you are right about large companies not caring about individuals. We were taken over by a multi-national company and it has slowly but drastically changed over the years. Head office in America that dishes out all the rules doesn't give a damn about local people.

[Rustic Pumpkin]

So sad, Jazz. Are they in time to do anything. I fully understand what you are saying about employers, but I must admit I've had both sides of the coin with the same employer! Different members of staff get treated differently depending on the department, and sometimes even within the same department! Of course, this was for staff with ill family members.

I could write a book on how an employer is treating my poorly cousin, but I'm not able to say in case it gets read. It is pretty da*n disgusting though. She's only worked for this place for around 30 years and now needs longish sick leave, but as she is coming up to retirement age they are being really sh**y to her. Sorry for the language.

[Katelb]

What a very sad situation Jazz,and like the others say,I do hope that she can be helped and the misdiagnosis hasn't got in the way of a recovery. I can't begin to imagine what must have been going on in her mind whilst she has been in psychiatric care and the whole situation just beggars belief.

Regarding the work ethic, I think that most people are truly concienscious and want to do an honest days work,but loyalty seems to get lost these days and most firms,especially large impersonal ones,couldn't care less about the loyalty of a long standing employee, so I agree,do an honest days work but don't let them flog you to bits,these days,companies will always flog a willing horse.

[MrZebra]

When I left university and took my first job, I worked very hard. I was a computer game programmer in London. The work was very intense, and I'd often get to work at 9am and then get the last tube home at midnight or later. I got completely burnt out after only 6 months. I was so exhausted that I had to take the next 3 months off sick to recover. For the first 2 weeks after the breakdown, I basically slept 23 hours a day, just waking up for something to eat.

I went back to work after that, but still suffered exhausting, being sick/dizzy, and had to take regular days off sick. Eventually I quit and moved to the countryside! I'm still a computer programmer, but in a less demanding position.

[sunflower]

Hi Jazz, how dreadful to be misdiagnosed. That is so awful...really it is and very scary.
I think the work ethic in Europe is very complex. Not only is it about working extremley hard and long hours, but also we have a belief here that work should fulfil so many needs. I know it is great when someone finds a career that is fulfilling, but work should not have to provide every need...emotional, social, etc. I believe work should enable us to have shelter, food, a place for our belongings and pay the bills. Outside of work should provide our sense of wellbeing.